Rant of the Day: Why Should I bother learning a Foreign Language?

As I sit at my computer, desperately trying to memorize Chinese characters and useful phrases, I discover to my horror that my efforts may be in vein. A  genius with a couple of Raspberry Pi's (cheap basic computers) and some special glasses has created an wonder contraption which subtitles foreign language speakers in real time.

Like many Brit's, I'm useless at language learning. Two years of German and five years of French resulted in nothing due to lazy and/or incompetent teachers teaching uninterested teenagers. Whoever conceived the national curriculum for language learning in the UK should be hung drawn and quartered, for starting it at 12 years old, just as kids lose their natural ability for language learning.

Thanks to these idiot's, whole generations of Brits have needlessly suffered the horror of language learning as an adult with no second language to show for it. Meanwhile the rest of the world learns English (and a plethora of other lingo's) and Britain wonders why its Economy is doing so badly.

The typical British monolingual retard. Just like me.

So I thank you, the saviour of the Monolingual Retard (being surrounded by bilingual/trilingual people makes me feel incredibly stupid and dejected, so forgive me for this monologue of self loathing), for creating this wondrous device, I hope one day this technological masterpiece can become accessible to everyone in the form of an app, as everything seems to be becoming these days. 

P.S. If you happen to be one of those lucky people who just pick up Languages incredibly easily. I hate you! (Meaning of course I envy you and wish I had your amazing ability)

Review of Tefl Express: The Cheap Online Tefl Course from Groupon

TEFL Express: A fair appraisal

About a year ago, as I was preparing to vacate the UK to teach English in China I suddenly had the urge to get a TEFL qualification. In a mad rush I bought myself a £100 TEFL Express 120hr advanced course from Groupon without really doing my research, only stopping to check whether the course was accredited.

In the mad rush to get going, my TEFL course was lost and forgotten about. My employers didn't care though, so neither did I. After about 8 months of teaching English as a foreign language at the NDI (New Dynamic Institute) in Zhengzhou, I decided it was about time to get a professional qualification in what seemed to be becoming my main income source having only earned £206.74 from travel writing.

(feel free to click on the adverts on my site)

TEFL Express, the cheap online TEFL course.

So I found my old Groupon Voucher which was packed away in some unopened suitcase and activated my account with TEFL express. With this course you only get 75 days to complete it, "not a problem", I thought to myself as a whizzed through the first module. "At this rate I'll be finished in a few months", narrated my smug inner monologue. But then I started to wonder, "why is it so easy, a 5 year old could complete this course!". You have to doubt an online professional qualification which is ludicrously easy with a 55% pass rate. I'm currently on 95.6%, losing marks only due to a page with a very unclear exam layout.

However, more worrying than this is the site's constant unreliability. I work everyday from 2pm to 8pm, meaning my free time is in the mornings. Every morning (Chinese Time), the TEFL Express website is down meaning, I can only access the course at night, after a long tiring day at work.

Erqi Square, Zhengzhou. A stones throw away from my Flat. In Zhengzhou, like many Cities in China, you don’t need and ESL or TEFL qualification to teach at schools or Private Training Companies like The New Dynamic Institute (NDI), the place I work!

As the course continues, ones scepticism, generated by the simplicity of the course begins to diminish. The units get steadily harder and more useful. Having already taught a lot of classes, it wasn't practical experience I needed, but classroom theory.

Gradually I began to incorporate a lot of what I learned from TEFL express in my own teaching at NDI. The 120hr course is full of useful tips and information and has helped me to become a competent (I hope) "teacher" (I'm not a teacher*).

The TEFL Express 120hr course may not be highly respected, but if you want to teach in China, or have teaching experience and want to learn theory, I would highly recommend it.

Unfortunately I unsure whither the super cheap discount is available via groupon any more. If you want to buy it with the 80% discount that I bought it with (Paying full price is not advisable) you can use the following discount voucher code.

Link to Tefl Express 120 hour special discount page

In order to use the discount page, you need the following promo code: Buddy590545013

If you want to teach English in China, having a certificate will make it so much easier for you to get a job and a foreign expert badge, even if it's one you print yourself!

Here in China, there are a lot of people who paid £600+ for TEFL courses, these people are now the colleagues of people who studied with cheap, online TEFL express. Most of these people, my colleagues, now wish they had save their money.

Heed my warning.

This Review is a few years old now: click on this link to check out my latest review of the TEFL Express 150 hour essentials course. 

Serious Travel Article 11: Zhengzhou to Dengfeng, and Accidentally to the top of Song Shan | Part 2

Part 2: (For Part one, visit here: http://sammysgenericblog.blogspot.com/2012/05/serious-travel-article-10-from.html

The Mien Bao Che had dropped us off half way up a forested mountain in the Chinese "wilderness". Next to us was an old Buddhist monastery which had been spared the horrors of the cultural revolution. With us we had two bottles of water, sun cream and a bag of sweets. We didn’t really know where we were so the plan was to explore, find some more water (we had been promised numerous water fountains by the guide book) and go back into Dengfeng in an hour or two. Neither of us had the strength to climb such a towering mountain.

Temples in the middle of the forest at the base of the ascent of Mount Song (Song Shan). Near Dengfeng in Henan Province, China

Looking around, we had two choices, continue up the dusty old mountain road, or ascend a deserted (rare in China) flight of stairs. The concreted stairs looked more civilized than the road so we began climbing, with no idea how far it might lead.

The endless steps of Song Shan! Imagine having to climb up all of them!

We climbed.......

..........and climbed,,,,,,,,

and climbed,,,,,,,,,

until eventually we found a brand new toilet complete with squat pot and solar powered television warning visitors not to start forest fires. This was forest fire season. It hadn’t rained in months and it was over 30 degrees c. We were starting to wonder were the water fountains were, we had been climbing for over an hour and our water was almost gone, but some locals we met insisted there was a fountain just a little higher.

The lush forests of Dengfeng with it's Mountains in the Background

So we climbed....

...............and climbed.............

.......and climbed until we could climb no more.

The mountain was now seeming endless, and although the views were spectacular and other worldly. The fantastic colours,jagged peaks and vast horizons were no cure for our fatigue.

A rare picture of me about halfway up Mount Song in Dengfeng. It looks far to beautiful to be in China doesn't it?

We asked yet another climber, "were are these water fountains",
he replied, "Not here, there’s been no rain, no rain, no water",

The only reason we had climbed so high was in some desperate attempt to get water. We were both exasperated and dehydrated. We decided to have a rest in the shade and go back down, all the way to Dengfeng. Going downhill is always a lot easier right?

The majestic views from Mount Song in Dengfeng, China

The other climbers overheard us and warned us against it. "You wont find any water down that way, you'll come down on the wrong side of the mountain. Besides, there's a shop at the summit, they sell water, your already 2/3 the way up!" he exclaimed!

Deflated by his comments, my girlfriend and I got up and started marching, one step at a time up the mountain. Going up the endless flight of stairs became a game of mental endurance. Conversation stopped as all energy was now reserved for climbing. As we went on, my girlfriend started going faster than me. I was slowing down, I couldn’t help it, I was nearing the point of collapse. Just then, I was overtaken by a frail old woman, rejuvenated by loss of face I soldiered on!

The City of Dengfeng, China, as viewed from Mount Song, home of the Shaolin Temple, but we didn't go there.

As we reached the top the forest petered out and became bare windswept rocks covered by occasional grassland. Ahead was a Taoist temple, with colourful and extensive decorations. I had been warned that I couldn’t take any photos of the Buddha statues, it was offensive to the worshippers. We snuck inside and to our surprise there was a cooler with drinks for sale, water, soda and beer. We bought 6 bottles of water for 4 yuan each (at the bottom of the mountain they cost just 1RMB). Our prayers had been answered!Feeling hungry, I asked how much the food underneath the Buddha cost, the woman selling the water said It was an offering for the dead. Oooops!

The Temple at the top of the Song Shan Mountain. Well almost at the top.

We eventually reached the top. In fact, I'm too tired to type, I'm sure you know what happened, we got to the top, took a few pictures, went down the steps, took another mien bao che back to Dengfeng and a coach back to Zhengzhou where I resumed my boring life as a ESL teacher at the New Dynamic Institute, hoping that one day I could leave Zhengzhou again!

(Thank you for reading this long boring story. If you diddn't already guess, its moral is to always pack more water than you need, and don't listen to Chinese locals as they will ofter pretend to know what they're talking about to save face!)

Here's some more pictures of Song Shan as a treat for all you lovely people!

Water Bottles in hand, here's a Picture of me clinging for dear life at the top of Song Shan

More Beautiful Dengfeng Mountains, Much nicer than Zhengzhou just 50 miles away!

Me falling over backwards up mount Song, notice the union flag socks! What a good patriot I am!

My Beautiful Girlfriend Coco, another foreigner teaching English in China

What an unorganized post this has been. I hope you forgive me and visit my wonderful travel blog again!