When the Chinese smog blows away the result is, beautiful.

It happens once every few epochs, but here in central China, the smog does sometimes clear, to astonishing results. The sky returns to a shade of blue one forgot was possible. The landscape regains its spectrum. The smog seems to absorb vibrant colour, the result is world of grey and cigarette faded pastels.

Today was one of those few periods of time in which I could see my surroundings clearly. I felt the need to document it in case it doesn't happen again.

The sun setting over what remains of the Yellow River market in Zhengzhou

Blue skies in Kaifeng, Qixian

Look! The sky is even blue in Beijing!

Blue skies in Luoyang

But if you go up the hill, you can start to see the smog coming back.

Luoyang almost looks like a beautiful city without all the smog.

Blue skies over one of China's many Sim City replicas

Warning: If you haven't been in China for too long, these photos wont look at all remarkable. If you're as blown back as I am, it could be time to leave Northern China.

Infographic of the day: 24 strange things you probably didn't know about China

 Are you thinking of coming here to China? Choosing where to stay can be a minefield filled with tasty noodles, firecrackers and maybe even a few new friends stuck in the mud somewhere along the way, but if you go to a city called Xiamen, here's a good idea of where not to stay, the Fawlty Towers of China. Secure Thoughts have provided me with this, awesome, new info-graphic, detailing the bizarre, everyday facts, about our Chinese cousins.

24 strange things you probably didn't know about China

Before you read the info-graphic, here's a taster:

2 Bizarre facts about China:
· In 2010 there was a traffic jam in Beijing that was 62 miles long. It took 12 days to clear – that must have been a long ride home for some people.
· China employs over two million people to monitor internet activity! Many websites you are used to using are blocked so you’ll have to set up a VPN to bypass it.


For the other 20 bizarre facts, take a look at below.

 

Serious Travel Aricle 25: Xi'an Part 4. The Terracotta Warriors

On our last day in Xi'an, we went to the train station to take the coach to the largest and best known atoll of interest in Xi'an. Far from the main archipelago and outside the protective lagoon of the city wall are the terracotta warriors.

We were befriended on the bus by a group of public school leavers (probably Eton). They were on their travels after finishing school, two of them, Olivia, a pale redhead and Augustus, a blonde haired son of a diplomat whom I thought of as the heir to Boris Johnson (in a good way) were on gap years. The other,Tiberius , was soon to start his physics course at Oxford, as “the Oxford Physics department don't allow you to take a gap year”. While we were waiting in line, they asked us whether we would like to share a guide to save money. Coco announced “Don't worry, you don't need a guide, I was a student here for four years, I can be our guide!” 

A stern looking terracotta warrior.

I knew very well that Coco knew nothing at all about the terracotta warriors and just wanted to save a few quid, but our poor new toffee nosed friends didn't and happily accepted the offer. We spent our time touring the magnificent remains of the terracotta army, all covered by an enormous hanger and dimly lit to preserve the wonders (or to make it more atmospheric, but I prefer the first explanation). Coco bent over backwards to try and eavesdrop on the tour guides speaking in Chinese around us and translate it into English for our friends, pretending she really did know about the warriors, she struggled a lot with extra questions and dates, although she became quite creative, making up enough phoney facts to keep them convinced. If found them to be charming company, and almost as interesting at the warriors themselves. After they left, I decided I liked the British upper classes. Except when they go on rifle safaris and fox hunt. 

Tourists pose with the terracotta warriors

The warriors themselves were mind blowing in their immensity. Each a life-sized replica of a person that would have lived over two thousand years ago when Qin Shi Huang ordered the terracotta warriors to be constructed. Each warrior has been crafted with such intricate detail it's difficult to believe that they aren't petrified human remains, frozen in time by an evil witch. When you try to imagine them pained in realistic colours as they would have been originally and some still are, they become one of the greatest achievements of the ancient world. The most miraculous thing about the warriors is that they were discovered just after the end of the Cultural Revolution and thus spared the merciless vandalism of the red guards.

It was drizzling as we left, so we had lunch in the subway to escape the rain. We both wanted to eat biang biang mian, a bowl of noodles with a name so complicated, being sold around the terracotta warriors complex that Chinese tourists stopped to take photos of the overly complex character. Unfortunately subway was the only restaurant not to rack up the prices and the only one we could afford. 

Biang Biang Mian. Biang is the most complex character in simplified Chinese script. After much searching, my wife and I were unable to find a definition. Only that, this word isn't in the dictionary, but is a local Shaanxi word to describe it's special big hearted noodles.

We ate biang biang mian when we returned to Xi'an.

After visiting all the atolls of interest Xi'an had to offer, there seemed no reason left to stay, you can't stay in Xi'an for more than four of five days, not as an island hopper anyway. We headed beck to Zhengzhou, our vast ocean of uninterest.

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Serious Travel Article 24: Xi'an Part 3. Return to Xi'an International Studies University and the Best Cake in Central China

On the next day Coco brought me to her old university, Xi'an International Studies University. It was a typical Chinese University, filled with old teaching blocks and seven story student dorms, six to a room with no running water, and no elevator to get up to the top floor. Inside the campus were tall leafy trees and abstract statues which meant nothing to me. 

The Main Gate of Xi'an International Studies University

The side streets around the university were buzzing with activity. Bars, cheap shops and restaurants lined the streets. We stopped in a little place called The Village Café, turn left as you leave the main gate of Xi'an International Studies University and walk down the side road, you'll find it on the right hand side. It was special as it was run by a bunch of foreigners, Coco used to meet her old friend Bonnie Stanford there when she taught in Xi'an, and it served all the favourites from back home. Including apple pie, chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake, carrot cake, chocolate cake and more. Being in China for extended periods makes you miss such things, we bought one of every cake they sold. Feeling food drunk, we continued to Xi'an International Studies University's new campus, out of town. 

Delicious Cake

It was a large modern campus, empty but still impressive. It was green and had fruit trees throughout. Close to Coco's old dorm building were plum and pomegranate trees. Both were falling off the trees and giving the ants below a grand feast. We decided to deprive the ants and take some fruit for ourselves. No sooner than we begun, a fat, middle aged woman began chasing us, screaming “that's not your fruit, go away”.

“We'll just let it all drop on the floor then if that's what you want,” Coco shouted back as we fled.

“It's my fruit, I can do whatever I want with it”.

It wasn't her fruit, it belonged to the university, but during the summer holiday, this pretender seemed to claim it as her territory. Not wanting to fight we scrambled with the handful of fruit we collected before the hippo charged. 

The new campus of Xi'an International Studies University filled with mammoth buildings and lines of fruit trees.

We explored the outer reaches of the campus, most of it abandoned and covered in graffiti, a growing problem in urban China.

For dinner I fell in love with another dish. Ma Shi are little noodles shaped like tiny fish, no more than 2cm long and 1 cm wide. Not what once expects when one orders noodles. They can be fried or boiled with chilli, eggs, vegetables, tomatoes or meat, or any combination of the above. I would soon be leaving Xi'an and you can't get Ma Shi anywhere else. I bravely decided to have two dinners that evening. It wasn't easy after all that cake, but brave decisions are often difficult.

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Serious Travel Article 23: Xian Part 2. The Drum Tower and The Wild Goose Pagoda

Overlooking the end of the Muslim quarter is the drum tower. A rectangular based, traditional Chinese tower which looks solid enough to withstand a tsunami if it had to. Nearby the Drum Tower is Xi'an's famous Bell Tower. Despite my student card getting me half price entry, I still decided to choose only one to save a little money. Considering the bell tower's new job as roundabout centrepiece, and the unlikelihood that I'd be allowed to ring the bell, I decided to climb the drum tower. It exceeded my expectations. The tower seemed old (which in China is all you can really ask for) and it had lots of big drums. It sounds simplistic but sometimes a great sense of satisfaction can be gained by banging a drum bigger than oneself, especially when you suspect it may be forbidden. It wasn't a very strictly enforced rule, everyone seemed to be doing it. 

The Drums of the Drum Tower, Xi'an

Inside the second floor was an exhibition of ancient Chinese musical instruments. Although many were truly old drums, there were many other instruments on show a multilingual explanation of how the instruments were used as well as the story of the tower itself. On the top floor of the Drum Tower was a room filled with nineteenth century, European looking antiques. It was odd that no photos were allowed, it seemed like a rule for the sake of a rule but I followed it after being told off. On the top floor was a little shop selling tourist tat. It seemed there was no escape. Hawkers tried to sell me a box of postcards, for 30 yuan. My indifference to the postcards seemed to intrigue them as when I began to walk away, they were shouting “only pay 5 ok!”. I left the drum tower happy at having banged some big drums. 

The Bell Tower. A fine roundabout centerpiece.

The next atoll of interest in the Xi'an archipelago was the Wild Goose Pagoda. We took a bus from the Bell Tower changing at an intersection close to the university and filled with young people. Xi'an, outside the tourist areas, seems more vibrant than other inland Chinese cities like Beijing or Wuhan. The Wild Goose Pagoda is surrounded by a ghastly new, sprawling shopping complex, inspired half by the architecture of the Tang Dynasty, half by glassy modernism. 

It looks good from a distance, and the musical fountains are fun, especially watching security guards furiously whistling at members of the public walking across them. However when you see the fake LED ceiling inside the mall itself, changing every five minutes from a blue sky (Xi'an dwellers might need to be reminded what that looks like) to comets hurtling thorough space, I felt it trivialized an important historical monument in a cheap, Las Vegas way. 

The Wild Goose Pagoda in Xi'an. Don't walk across the fountains or you will be whistled at. 

The wild goose pagoda itself is a grand yet austere old building dating back to the seventh century. Although it has been remodeled and repaired , in the 8th century it had 5 floors added and was extensively repaired during the Ming dynasty and in 1964 in the early Mao dynasty, it has the appearance of ancientness, unlike the Drum Tower and especially the Bell Tower which to me was just a pretty centerpiece for a busy intersection, like the Arch de Triumph. 

If you find yourself having to choose between sights in Xi'an, a visit to the Wild Goose Pagoda is a better use of your time than the Drum or Bell Towers. 

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Serious Travel Article 22: Xi'an Part 1. The Muslim Quarter

Xi'an feels like a collection of small coral islands scattered in the ocean. The parts of Xi'an you want to visit are the coral atolls, floating above a reflective sea of uninteresting glass and frozen waves of concrete. Surrounding the little islands is a barrier reef, worth visiting, protecting the little gems from the fury of the high seas.

Xi'an involves a lot a pavement stomping, and after dropping off our bags at our hostel, just a room in some lady's house. We pounded away. The city blocks all feel sameish and with no clear destination and no clue that you're getting any closer to an atoll of interest, your legs feel all the more tired.

Coco was taking me to the Muslim quarter, an area she used to come to when she was a student in the city. But it had changed so much in the four years since she had studied there it had become unrecognizable. We stopped to get directions and were pointed back onto the right path. The main street in the Muslim quarter came out of nowhere, hiding behind a corner in some dank, dead end in the city. 

The uninteresting streets of Xi'an

The crowds make it seem buzzing. Tourists come from all over China, and the world to gawk at the Koranic followers who dwell there. I found the place interesting too, particularly the trash bins. Many of the tourists had bought kebabs of mutton, vegetables, tofu and even skewered sugared fruits. These had been piled into the bins in the Muslim quarter and instead of being cleared, had been allowed to pile up until they became towers of jagged wooden skewers which stool proudly with the bin far below acting as a solid foundation. I enjoyed adding my skewers to the towers. 

A bin based tower of sticks in Xian's Muslim Quarter

The Muslim quarter is quite clearly Islamic. The Arabic script which is used to write the Xinjiang Uyghur language is everywhere while women cover their immoral parts (their hair) and men grow long bushy beards and wear white skull caps.

Somewhere within the Muslim quarter is a bazaar which wouldn't look out of place in Marrakesh, Mosul or Medina. An ongoing, narrow and semi covered alleyway, occasionally branching off in some other direction. The alleyway was filled with warm, rich colours, lots of red, orange and yellow everything. The traders were well verse in world languages, especially English which is rare in China. The traders in the market spoke English better than most of the Chinese English teachers I know. As good as there linguistic skills were, they were filled with ill meaning. They sold all manner of fake antiques, dancing cardboard cut outs floating on bits of string (yes, that old trick) and general tourist tat. The tat was so overpriced my wife and I spent an hour inquiring and listening to foreigners trying to haggle just for entertainment. The sort of rubbish that you could buy in Zhengzhou (off the tourist trail) for 0.1 yuan was selling here for 10. If it cost them 10 yuan, they'd be selling it for 200.

Xi'an Muslim Quarter: The Bazaar. Don't get overcharged!

We saw a German couple haggling for a crummy watch. The hawker started at 600 yuan (£60), the Hawkers got it for 300 and walked off happy. The traders later boasted they'd bought it for five yuan in a box of a thousand.

I know a lot of travellers tell you not to haggle too much because these people are poor and unfortunate, some tell you to aim for 50% off. Don't listen to them, in Xi'an, and in many places around China this isn't true. The traders are rich and they like nothing more than ripping you off. Haggle for a fair price or don't pay. Tip: When the price is settled and you've got your money out, ALWAYS ask for an additional freebie. It usually works as the traders can see how close they are to getting their money, but be prepared to walk away.

The best thing about the Muslim quarter is the food, don't let the hanging carcasses of dead animals, attracting flies in the mid day sun put you off (well, use your discretion). Try as much as you can but if you're pressed for time and can only try one thing, get the spinach noodles. I fell in love with them in Xi'an.

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Rant of the Day: The Surprise Beaches of Xiamen City & Non accurate top 10 lists

While searching online for the best beaches in China, I found the following list:

China's Top 9 Beaches: According to echinacities.

"1) Bo'ao City, Hainan Province
Bo'ao city, located in the middle of the east coast of Hainan, is itself regarded as a pleasant and historical small town to visit, surrounded by rice fields and notable for its restaurants and cultural sites. Bo'ao Beach is not far away, and its main peninsula forms a crescent shape, largely separating the two outgoing rivers from the sea. Though it's a pay-to-enter beach, it is beautifully scenic and not known to draw the large crowds that the Sanya area does.
Beach Name: Bo'ao Yudai Beach (Jade Belt Beach)
Size: 2.5 km long, 10-300 m wide
Price: Adults – 60 RMB; children over 1 meter – 30 RMB; children under 1 meter – 20 RMB
Popular activities: Tour boats – 50 RMB, hot springs
Nearby venues: Several large restaurants, small food stands, noodle shops, local product vendors
Other spots nearby: Bo'ao Asian Forum Hall, Eastern Culture Garden, Ocean Museum, Wanquan River Drifting
Interesting details: According to the Shanghai Guinness World Record archives, Yudai Beach is the narrowest and longest stretch of beach in the world that separates the sea from fresh water
Distance from city or town: The beach is about 500 meters from the center of Bo'ao town, 16 kilometers from Qionghai City and 96 kilometers from Meilan Airport
2) Xuejia Island, Qingdao, Shandong Province
Qingdao and its surroundings have been attracting tourists for nearly one hundred years due to a fantastic coastline with large beaches, both within the city and without. Because of its German colonial heritage, it also blends its Chinese flair with numerous European style mansions, villas and churches. Since most city-goers prefer as quick a journey to the beach as possible, Xuejia Island is far less crowded than closer and more famous retreats. Not an actual island, but a long peninsula in Qingdao's southeastern Huangdao District, it also remains little-developed, so people who expect the comforts of home will have to adapt to more modest venues. Golden Beach, which looks out directly on the ocean and several small islands, is flanked by two large sectors of farms and forest, and the equally-undeveloped Silver Beach.
Beach name: Golden Beach
Size: 3.5 km long, 300 m wide
Price: Free
Popular activities: Motorboats, beach volleyball and beach soccer; prices around 50-200 RMB
Nearby venues: Food street with countless small shops and restaurants, street stands selling shells and other local treasures
Other spots nearby: Silver Beach, Shique Beach, Chengu Temple, Ganshui Bay, Yangwuhou Tomb
Popular foods: The most famous dishes at Golden Beach are crab, abalone and sea cucumber.
Interesting details: During ebb tide, locals say you can see a large frog-shaped stone, its head facing east and its back facing west
Distance from city or town: The Island is twenty minutes by fast boat from Qingdao and forty minutes by ferry. From the dock, you can get to Golden Beach in around 15 minutes by bus
3) First Bathing Beach, Qingdao, Shandong Province
Probably the most popular beach in Qingdao, and just a few minutes from downtown, First Bathing Beach sits within a broad inlet, with two peninsular arms stretching out on either side, one of them lined with weathered, rugged rocks and both of them peaked with European villas. If you feel like a walk in the grass after swimming, Huiquan Square and spacious Zhongshan Park are immediately behind the beach. If you feel more like a stroll through one of the city's old quarters, Xiaoyu Hill is directly to the right. Sand, water, and city treasures are neatly interwoven here.
Beach name: First Bathing Beach (Haishui Yuchang)
Size: 580 m long, 40+ meters wide
Price: Free
Popular activities: Waterbiking, motorboat, paragliding; prices range between 150-300 RMB
Nearby venues: Leisure center, food stands, beach venues, hotels, international restaurants
Other spots nearby: Qingdao Ocean World, Xiaoyu Hill, Zhongshan Park, Qingdao Museum of Marine Products
Interesting details: The beach is open for swimming only from July to September. It's known to have clean water and mild waves. Though it draws large crowds for much of the summer, the Qingdao area has five other beaches to choose from
Distance from city or town: It takes about 25 minutes by bus from downtown. You can take Bus No. 6, 15, 26, 31, 214, 304, 311, 312, 316, 604 or 605 buses to the Haishui Yuchang stop
4) Golden Pebble Beach, Dalian, Liaoning Province
The Dalian area is surrounded by thousands of kilometers of coastline and numerous beaches, but Golden Pebble Beach has quickly become the most highly-regarded in the region. Its clean water, fine sand and many reefs make it attractive, as do the fantastic shapes and colors of its limestone rocks. Though the beach is free, the area has been a resort since 1992, and some of the nearby attractions and hotels are quite expensive.
Beach name: Golden Pebble Beach (Jinshitan Scenic Area)
Size: 4.5 km long, 100-200 m wide
Price: Free
Popular activities: Diving, fishing, windsurfing, water-biking, beach volleyball and soccer (most of them located on beach's eastern portion); prices between 50 and 300 RMB
Nearby venues: Many shops and restaurants are along the eastern portion of the beach.
Popular foods: International food, seafood, barbecue
Other spots nearby: Golf courses, yacht club, house of wax, Golden Stone Park
Interesting details: This beach is said to be the longest and most beautiful in northeastern China. Many sports matches are held here every year, including the Women's Beach Volleyball World Cup, the Dalian International Winter Swimming Festival and the Dalian Triathlon
Distance from city or town: 8 km from Dalian
5) Meizhou Island, Fujian Province
Meizhou Island, just off the coast from Putian in China's southeastern Fujian Province, is a composite of many rapidly-developing neighborhoods and long swathes of beach. Once most famous as a pilgrimage site because of its Mazu Temple, and still drawing thousands of pilgrims every year, the island is also quickly becoming known for its natural attractions. Though only six square miles, its odd shape cut out from inlets and peninsulas allows for even more miles of mostly-broad beaches. Large portions of the island's southern half and northern tip are heavily tree-covered, and several large stone shorelines interrupt its curvaceous stretches of sand.
Beach name: Jiubaolan Golden Beach
Size: 3 km long, 500 m wide during ebb tide
Price: Free for the beach, but island entrance is 50 RMB
Popular activities: Yacht, motorboat, hovercraft, surfing
Nearby venues: Restaurants, shops selling handicrafts and accessories
Popular food: Mazu noodles and dried scallops are local specialties
Other spots nearby: Mazu Temple, Lianchi Beach, E'wei Beach, E'wei Stone Garden
Interesting details: You can rent a tent and camp on the beach for 50 RMB
Distance from city or town: About 50 minutes from central Putian to the dock, and 15 minutes by boat to the island. Taxis are available from the island dock to the beach
6) Gulangyu Island, Xiamen, Fujian Province
Just a few minutes from Xiamen, Gulangyu Island is a world apart, not just for its smaller buildings and heavy tree-cover, but also for its motor vehicle ban, which maintains the island's quiet, neighborhood atmosphere. Much of what makes the island unique comes from its history as a western settlement, one which has left the island with many churches, an array of international architecture and an immense number of pianos. Exploring the narrow streets, shops and local wares is also an obvious part of the island's charm. Gangzaihou Beach is on a southwestern stretch of the island, and is one of the island's most popular.
Beach name: Gangzaihou Bathing Beach
Size: Over 300 meters long, 20-70 meters wide
Price: Free
Popular activities: Motorboat, yacht, swimmer's service center; prices between 100 and 250 RMB
Nearby venues: Shops selling specialties such as handicrafts and fishballs, restaurants
Other spots nearby: Riguangyan (Sunshine Rock), Shuzhuang Garden, Haoyue Garden (Moon Garden), Piano Museum, Ocean World, Gulang Stone (an island landmark)
Interesting details: The island has many hostels and cafes. There are no motor vehicles
Distance from city or town: The ferry reaches the island in 5 minutes from Xiamen.
7) Hailing Island, Yangjiang, Guangdong Province
Hailing Island is ridiculously beautiful. Just off the coast of Yangjiang city in southern China's Guangdong province, the southern half of this large island looks out on the South China Sea, with beaches surrounded by tropical forest and hills. While its traditional fishing culture still survives among the locals, the island entertains visitors with its abundance of water sports and beach activities along with its stunning ocean views. Despite the island's development in some areas, most of the island is not heavily built up, and several isolated beaches, on its eastern and western tips, await the adventurous. Shili Silver Beach, on the southern coast, is the island's longest.
Beach name: Shili Silver Beach
Size: 8 km long, 150 m wide
Price: Free
Popular activities: Surfing, boating, horse riding
Nearby shops: Many stalls selling handicrafts and local food
Popular food: Cantonese
Other spots nearby: Two mountains are to the left and right of the beach area – Dajiao Mountain (Horn Mountain) and Caowong Mountain. Dajiao Bay and Mawei Island (Horsetail Island) are also nearby.
Interesting details: Much of the Shili Silver Beach area has very little development
Distance from city or town: Shili Silver Beach is 15 minutes from Zhabo Town, 1.5 hours from Zhuhai and Hong Kong by bus, and 3 hours from Guangzhou by bus
8 & 9) Also worth regarding is Beihai Silver Beach nearby Beihai city in Guangxi. Not only is it one of China's longest, but also exceeds 300 meters wide for long stretches. It's a veritable dune. Beihai Silver Beach is known for its clear, clean water and countless beach activities and despite its recent popularity, it is more than spacious enough for its visitors. South China's Dong'ao Island, less than an hour from Zhuhai by boat, is a good bit more removed from the city, and is one of Guangdong's island paradises, with emerald greenery, three large beaches and a proximity to many other island retreats."

All very nice beaches I'm sure, but there's a problem.

What this list and all the other lists like it do is mention the most famous beaches in lieu of the best ones.

Take example number six. Gulangyu Island, Xiamen.

Yes, there are beaches on Gulangyu but they are small, crowded and surrounded by expensive hotels and restaurants, designed to rip off travelers. They also look out to docklands and are set right next to a power station, not what I would consider a top national beach. Meanwhile on Xiamen's main island you'll find longer, cheaper, more beautiful, cleaner, less crowded beaches with a backdrop of green hills and forests stretching on for as far as the eye can see. 

The Island at the top center of the picture is Gulangyu, the beaches face south to a dockland area while in the top left of the picture you can see a power plant. The island itself might be a little tropical paradise, but its surrounds aren't.

This beach on Xiamen Island by comparison is over 5km long, is nestled under green mountains and looks towards the largely green Jinmen Island, Administered by Taipei. What could be more fun?

 So what a great surprise it was to find this long, golden delightful beach when all I was expecting were the tiddlers of Gulangyu.

I do hope the publishers of these online lists try a little harder to find the real best beaches of wherever before they start making superlative top ten lists. I don't know if my beach is up there in the top ten, so I wont label it as such, just a surprise beach from me.

End of semi rant.

Here's some funny pictures of brides to be having their photos taken on on the long beaches of Xiamen.

Wedding Photo in Xiamen

Four Brides to be having their wedding photos taken in Xiamen

The Chinese have invented a new tradition of spending ludicrous amounts of money on having badly taken wedding photos taken in scenic locations to put in hilarious and corny wedding albums. I even have one of my own! Mine cost £200 but some cost up to £10,000!