Serious Travel Article (STA) 9: Budget Chinese Train Travel (From Zhengzhou to Wuhan)

The Following text was never intended to be published online; it was merely an email home to my family after they asked me what a Chinese Birthday is like. I'm certain my experience wasn't typical but please excuse the lack of editing, this was published unedited without my permission. So despite the departure from my usual mediocre standards, enjoy!

My birthday this year was definitely the strangest one I have ever had. it was spent  was on a train to Wuhan, leaving my city Zhengzhou at 10 past 6 in the morning, I had to travel the 6 hour journey because the  school that I am teaching at  had made a  huge mistake with my visa.

 I clambered upon the train with a weary restless crowd and pushed and shoved my way through to  find my seat, which naturally was occupied by a group of men with their feet up on my empty seat. I stood there showing them that I had booked this seat and that they needed to move their feet, they just waved me on but I wouldn't budge! I just kept on shoving my ticket into their faces until, through irritation at this bloody foreigner, they gave way.

A few moments later an attractive young woman sat on the other footrest but didn't have to wait 5 minutes for the pleasure.

She spoke a little English and I had my phrasebook with me so we could all communicate. Later on it turned out that the grumpy group of men who I had been cursing for being so selfish were Chinese police officers travelling from Beijing to Wuhan.

Zhengzhou railway station

. They started asking me questions, "where are you from?" - " YingGoar", I said in my Rudimentary mandarin, how long have you been here? "2 weeks", what are you doing here, "travelling"  "how much do you weigh????         "Sha ma!?!?!" (What?!?!?!) Asking someone how much they weigh is very common in China, I must have been asked  this personal question 5 or six times. Then they asked me how old I was,  it was about half 7 in the morning so I said 22, that was still true for about 40 more minutes. 

Travelling in hard seat class on a slow train in China

They then  taught me some Chinese card games, a process of removing cards from a series of 3 piles, containing 7, 5 and 3 face down cards, to win you had to remove all the cards from the piles. It had no point, no skill and no rules. It seemed like the most boring card game I had ever seen, watching paint dry seemed more interesting than removing face down cards from piles and then putting the back again.

I taught them how to play poker but they didn't seem to like it.

 During the 6 hour trip, the policemen also tried to teach me Chinese words and characters. They didn't do very well, all I took in was the character for the sky and the word for fish, you.

The train  finally arrived in Hankou, the main district in Wuhan 2 hours late, I was met by Echo, one of the HR people at my schools HQ, she took me to one of Wuhan's 7 CB D's. Here I was shown my hotel room (nicer than my apartment) and taken to the police to register as a temporary Wuhan resident. By then, Echo had been replaced by Eric, a recent graduate from Athens University, Ohio (Americas Wildest Uni), who had come back to his native Wuhan for work. He told me he liked Hip Hop and dance music and liked playing video games on line.

Smelly Tofu at a Wuhan market

I asked him to find me some Smelly tofu, a Wuhan delicacy but we gave up after half an hour of searching. We eventually settled for hot dry noodles,  re gan mian, noodles with sesame seed sauce, chili and spring onions, my new favourite type of street food. My last favourite was Tai Moi, a fried flat bread, stuffed with vegetables and egg, topped with black bean sauce, chili and pickle. Very similar in appearance to the Gozlema's they sell in Archway and the Holloway road in London.

Re Gan Mien: A Specialty of Wuhan and Well worth the 30p Asking Price!

. Before Eric went back to the office he asked me whether there was anything else he could help me with, I told him I wanted to see the Yangtze river. He looked puzzled and told me he didn't know which bus could take me there, he said he could look for me but I told him to to worry himself, I would try and find it by myself. I then began wandering around semi aimlessly half wanting to find the Yangtze, half wanting to explore.

 In a park in Wuhan, a monk accosted me and gave me a lucky hologram of some Buddhist image. He said it was lucky and would bring me money, I thanked him, he then asked me if I wanted a picture with him, a thought that made me a little paranoid, maybe this was just an elaborate ploy to steal the stupid foreigners camera while he was having a photo taken  with a lucky monk. It wasn't likely but I didn't want to take the risk, so I thanked him and went on.

 I kept walking and snapping for hours , although I found no map or clue of how to find the elusive Yangtze river, nor did I find any smelly tofu or Tai Moi for dinner (I later found out Tai Moi is a Henan Speciality) so I had to settle for Uyhiger bread for dinner.
 The Chinese really hate the Uhiygers and Ive been warned by many people not to go to Xinjiang because the people are so bad, they steal, they cant be trusted, you should stay with the Han Chinese, don't trust the minorities! It just makes me want to visit East Turkestan more. 

  The rich Uighur culture, which is closer to Turkic culture than Han Chinese 

The next day I was taken by Echo to the public security bureau where the polices motto was to ' Enforce the law with courtesy, and serve with enthusiasm! "

the word courtesy was in a different shade of blue to the rest of the sign and I wondered to myself what it might have said before,

 I filled in endless  forms, and tried to work out what it meant when they asked about my complexion and eyeball colour, and helped some confused Saudis with their forms.

 The Chinese assume all foreigners speak English.

I noticed on the wall there was a Chinese map showing Taiwan as a normal Chinese province, the entire south China sea belonging to China and a united Korea with Pyongyang as its capital.

The  Chinese like to think they are such a peaceful nation, always going on about how awful Japan and America are.

After we left the bureau, I asked Echo what she thought of Xinjiang people, she hated them, "did you know a foreigner got beaten up by some Uhyigers here in Wuhan". 'You don't say...'.

I asked her how far it was to the  Yangtze , and it turned out we were right by it, she went back to the office and I spent the rest of the day, as the only pedestrian on a very narrow footpath on a gigantic road bridge spanning the Yangtze. I wasn't sure if  I was allowed to be on  there but as I had  already  walked past  the police checkpoint to get up there,  and they didn't stop me , I just kept on going like I had somewhere to be.

The second Yangtze River Bridge in Wuhan, China.

The air in Wuhan was so bad ash was falling from the sky and you couldn't see either river bank  from the middle of the bridge !!

 Zhengzhou air seems  spotlessly clean in comparison, and Zhengzhou air makes London air seem as fresh as   well Alpine air.