Serious Travel Article (STA) 7: Ein Maβ Bitte - Drinking in the Beerhalls of Munich

If you were to visit Theresienwiese, a 42 hectare park, just south west of Munich’s city centre, on a normal day, you might find yourself rather bored. Unless you happen to be a connoisseur of urban parks (and let’s be honest, who would admit to that) the only interesting thing in Theresienwiese is the 60ft high, climbable “Bavaria statue” which overlooks the park and central Munich. But despite laying dormant for most of the year, Theresienwiese, for the last 200 years, has been one of the most important places in the world. For one simple fact, it’s the location of Oktoberfest, by far the greatest beer festival the world has ever seen, indeed, with six million people visiting it every year, it’s considered to be the world’s largest fair of any kind. Cavernous tents filled with drunken Bavarians in this seasons lederhosen dominate this simple park in Munich for the 16 days leading up to the first weekend in October. 

 

But fear not, for all its hype and fame, Oktoberfest in reality is just an excuse to pack out Munich with millions of tourists, charge them top dollar (usually around €9 a mass) for special strength beer and an open season for hoteliers with Euros in their eyes to part unsuspecting tourists from their hard earned cash. 

The Grand Old Buildings of Central Munich

 

When Oktoberfest ends, the grand, colossal buildings of central München remain. Wandering around the CBD, it would be easy to believe that nothing has touched them since their construction, many centuries ago. It’s almost impossible to believe, that this city was bombed to the edge of the abyss a mere 70 years ago. Destroyed by the very ideology that was sparked in its own beer halls just 20 years before. In fact, it was only recently, that some of the last remnants of Nazism were removed from the Hofbräuhaus, the swastika tiles which had controversially adorned its floors and the photograph of Hitler as a baby were finally trashed in 2006. But despite its shadowy past, Hitler’s local, is a fantastic place to visit. Supposedly the biggest pub in the world, the interior of the Hofbräuhaus seemed, to me, to be disappointingly small. But this initial disappointment was instantly quelled at the sight of a round of masses (the standard litre of lager served in beer halls all across Bavaria, in my opinion, the perfect sized glass).

Be warned, if you think that Carling and Stella are good lagers, don't go to Munich, in fact it’s probably wise for you to avoid Germany altogether. After tasting this golden ambrosia, a Pandora’s Box will be opened inside your mouth, thrusting upon you an insatiable lust for the best Bavarian lager, never again will you be satisfied by the piβ water that passes for lager in most British pubs. But it isn’t the beer that makes the Hofbräuhaus unique and special, the beer served here is average on Bavarian standards. Better beer is served at the Augustiner Grossgaststätten, the Weisses Brauhaus and the Lowenbrau Haus, hell, even the airport bar serves liquid heaven, Airbrau, only available at Munich airport. No, what makes the Hofbräuhaus a sacred shrine and a monument to drunkenness is the atmosphere. Whether you’re in a three way Maβ downing contest against a group of locals and a gaggle of Americans, with the entire Hofbräuhaus cheering you on (a contest in which we, the England and Wales drinking board won), or making friends with some Bavarian teenagers who wondered why you poured pepper in your beer, you’ll always make some friends or enemies during your time in the Hofbräuhaus. 

The Hofbräuhaus in Munich.

The morning after hitting the beer halls, passing out in the gutter, falling over invisible wires in a phantom park and projectile vomiting straight into your own face, and then sleeping in it (yes, that actually happened), it’s unlikely that you’ll want to return to the scene of the crime right away. Luckily, you can enjoy yourself in Munich without becoming hopelessly squiffy. About a 40 minutes train ride out of the city is the Allianz Arena, this multi coloured, squashed bubble of a stadium is the home of 1860 München and its minnow of a rival, FC Bayern Munich. Even if there isn’t a match on, the Allianz Arena is worth a visit simply for a wonder round and a trip to the mega stores.

The Allianz Arena, home of 1860 Munchen and not much else.

If football’s really not your thing, Munich is full of exquisite architecture, some of which dates back to the 13^th century, including Munich’s most imposing landmark, the Frauenkirche. A 20,000 seat cathedral, build when the population of Munich was 17,000. The 99m south tower can be climbed by members of the public and offers unique views of Munich and the distant Bavarian Alps to the south. Munich offers so much to see and do, that it’s the perfect trip for even the non drinker among us, but don’t go for Oktoberfest, go for the real thing.